Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
