butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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