apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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