Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
