I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
