i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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