love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
