My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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