got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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