It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
