He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
