Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
