3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
