so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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