i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize