plz talk dirty to me
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
