In the future we'll all be gay
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Green mimosas i think yes
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
