so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
