is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
