I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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