booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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