She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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