So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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