I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
