I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
