Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
