Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize