um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
