I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So much rum. So many feels.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Randomize
