you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
