I think I died a long time ago.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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