So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I party with great urgency now.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
