Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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