i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
