he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
