tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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