He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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