Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
