They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
