She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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