We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
