I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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