I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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