I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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