You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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