i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Your topless pictures make me question reality
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
