you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
this is an emotional support booty call
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
