i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
