"it" just moved
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
