ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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