you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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