At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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