Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
