I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
