I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
