his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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