love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
