You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I would ride that face into the sunset
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
