i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
