I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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