you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
