He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
