I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
