I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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